


Sad Love Song

by LuvEreri



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Depression, Gay Male Character, M/M, Other, Trigger Warnings, sensitive topics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:45:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuvEreri/pseuds/LuvEreri
Summary: Even is just a young boy hoping to get past his “best” year, but with being the only out gay guy in a small, town it starts to bring in the wrong type of people. Suddenly someone new shows their face and peaks Eren’s interest.





	1. Thrusday the 15th

_“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”_

_“What are you talking about, Eren? It’s not your fault that you’re parents are shitty people.”_

_“Yeah, but I knew how Christian they are and I still dropped the gay bomb. I should have just kept it to myself.”_

_“Eren fucking Jaeger. Don’t you ever say some shit like that. Don’t you remember how bad you felt when you were in the closet? You weren’t yourself. And now you get to be the real you. Doesn’t matter what your parents say, it’s what matters to you.”_

_“This is why we’re best friends, Hanji.”_

_“I know, what else would I be good for?”_

*

_”Finally, we get to have some fun in this boring town.”_

_”What do you want now, Reiner?”_

_”Me and my boys are a little bored, so we thought what better way than to mess with you.”_

_”Could you have thought of a more dumb plan?”_

_”Are you getting smart with me, Gayger?”_

_”I am. Sadly, you’re brain is too tiny to realize.”_

_Suddenly Eren was on the ground with a pain in his gut. Before he had time to stand punches and kicks were raining down and he was defenseless against them. After Reiner and his friends got bored of beating him up, they left to find a new target. Leaving Eren on the ground bruised and bloodied. Standing from his personal beating, he went home._

_Within the first couple of minutes of seeing his parents, they swarmed him with concerns. Not wanting to go into detail, he just lied saying he fell down a hill. After seeing his parents calm down he went upstairs to his room towards his bed. Plopping down face first he begun to let the tears that were building up free. He was glad that he was back home, but still felt like the rest of the world wasn’t accepting him._

_Deciding that crying wasn’t going to help him he went into his conjoined bathroom looking for a familiar feeling._

*

**Thursday the 15th**

“Why does school have to start so damn early?” I complain sagging myself against Hanji, my oldest friend. “It is literally Agugust and they expect me to come in.” 

“Then why are you in my car?” They question.

“Because I needed a ride there.” I grumble under my breath.

“Exactly, so stop sagging and let me drive.”

I pick my head up off their shoulder and lean it against the window. This would be the beginning of junior year in high school. One of the many ‘best years of your life’. I wouldn’t believe that bullshit for one second. These past two years have treated me like complete shit. I was just glad I hadn’t killed myself yet, thanks to Hanji. 

“We’re here!” They draw out causing me to groan as loud as possible. School was a place of demons and needed to be improved drastically, but with living in a small town it wouldn’t happen.

“What are you excited about? We have you stay in there for like hours.” 

“Come on, Eren! If it was your job you wouldn’t be acting this way.” They try to defend.

“That’s because I get paid to stay that long.” This causes them to laugh, “What? You know it’s true.”

“Whatever,” They say sobering up, “Let’s just get in there before we’re late.”

Getting out the passenger side, I grab my bag and swing it onto my back. This was going to be another year of complete bullshit. Walking up to the school was a shorter task than when I was riding the bus. Entering the building was a different kind of difficult. With four different classes walking in, it made for an interesting type of entrance. After getting past the new freshmen and returning ones, it was calmer yet chaotic. 

“When the fuck can I go home?”

“When the last bell rings, Eren. You know this.” They try to scold but looks more like they’re mocking a teacher.

Rolling my eyes, I look at the new children filling the foyer. With being average height, they seemed to be the same height as me. Curse my parent’s genes. Before I could tell them more complaints, I saw a new face amount the crowd. I tap Hanji on her shoulder to get her attention, “Yes, Eren?”

“Who the hell is that?”

“Holy shit! My mother was telling me about him this morning before I picked you up. I thought I had told you?”

“Yeah, you said something about it in the car, but I thought it was irrelevant for me to know. I now know I was wrong.”

“Well, you better pick up your chin from the floor before he sees you.” They say closing my mouth, “I can already tell you have the hots for him.”

“When did he get here?” I question not paying her comment any concern.

“He got here about a week ago. Jesus, Eren, we live in a small ass town and you did’t realize all the gossip?”

“I don’t get involved in that kind of thing.” I say looking down.

“Aww, it’s alright. I can just introduce ourselves to him.” They reassure pushing me forward.

“What are you talking about? We can’t just go talk to him! He’s too sexy to even talk to us.” I begin to panic trying to pull away.

“Come on, it won’t be that bad. Look, my mother knows his because they work together, and she said he hasn’t been out the house yet to make friends. Let’s be the first!”

Just as we were closing in, the bell rang saving me from embarrassing myself. Sighing, I hug Hanji quickly before going to my first class, English. The classrooom was fairly easy to find and fortunately the teacher hadn’t assigned seats, the worst thing ever. Right as the late bell rung, the same boy as earlier walked in. Shocked, I focused my attention to the desk art before me. Seeing a hand on my desk, I glance over to see him. Groaning internally, I ask him what he wanted.

“Could I borrow a pencil?” He asks after a while of silence.

“Sure.” I squeak out cursing myself. Grabbing an extra one, I hand him the less favorite one, “Just make sure I get it back, please.”

“No problem. The name’s Levi.” 

“Eren.” I try to say smoothly but sound like someone was strangling me.

Before he could reply the teacher began to introduce herself ending the conversation. As she began explaining the rules, I felt his breath near my ear, “Let’s talk later.”

Just with those few words, my face turned a light pink quickly. Not wanting to get in trouble on the first day I didn’t reply, but I gave him a thumbs up. Thankfully it was the first day of school, so class was just 90 minutes of us playing dumb games to introduce ourselves. Instead of participating, I stay seated and let people come to me. The teacher, Ms Jenny, tried to convince me to get up, but I was head strong and stayed in my place not wanting to be a bother. Soon enough the bell rang and onto the next class I went to.

As I was walking down the hallway a hand was suddenly placed on my shoulder. Flinching involuntarily, I turn to see Levi holding my pencil, “You forgot to grab this.”

Embarrassed, I grab it without thanking him and continue on my way. God, I’m an idiot. Letting the thought settle I walk into my next class, Chemistry, and notice Hanji right away. Sitting down I ask them why they didn’t take the advanced class, “I know I’m smart, but even I know that that class was going to be a struggle within itself.”

Agreeing with them I begin to get settled in the lab seat, “It’s only the second class and I’m already hungry.”

“And that’s why I brought snacks, sweet cheeks.” Hanji says pulling out a 27 ounce bag of gummy worms, her favorite.

“In all honesty, that’s more of a light brunch than a snack.”

“Meh, a person can eat. You of all people should know.”

“Yeah, but it’s usually-“ 

“Good morning, class.” The teacher says interrupting me.

Before I knew it, it was lunch time and I was starving. Grabbing a tray I began piling it on with the many options that they served. Checking out and going to sit down I felt a familiar presence. Placing my tray down near Hanji’s food, I turn into a fist to my gut. Falling down to my knees, I cradle my stomach before getting kicked in the chest. Staring into the ceiling I know Reiner and his gang are laughing it up at my pain. Sitting up, I spit at his shoes. I block his next hit but I’m quickly picked up by the neck face to face with him.

“You think it’s funny to spit at others, Gayger?” He questions before punching my in the gut again.

Throwing me on the floor he spits at me and calls me trash before walking off. Picking myself up I sit back down and finally notice everyone staring at me. Not even seconds later, everyone continues their previous conversations. Sighing I begin to eat my food when Hanji interrupts, “What the hell happened to you?”

Shrugging my shoulders I tell them nothing. Hearing a sigh they wrap their arms around me, “One day you’re going to tell me who bullies you. This is why I shouldn’t leave you alone.”

“I already told you, it was nothing. Did you do what you needed to do in the bathroom?”

“Yeah, but I should have just waited if I knew-“

“Nothing happened.” I demand with a hard voice warning them that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Thankfully, they knew how to take a hint and began talking about Levi, “Hanji, why do you want me to be his friend so bad?”

“Because the first steps to any relationship is talking to that person.”

“And what if I already did that?” I mumble silently, but they still heard.

“Exsqueeze me?” They gasp out, “And you didn’t think to tell me last class? I’m so a offended right now I don’t think I can look at you right now.”

Rolling my eyes, I tell them how they’re over reacting, “If I was over reacting, the whole cafeteria would know about this,”

“Don’t let that happen please.” 

“Of course I wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but is this seat taken?” A new voice asks. I look at the person to determine if they could and instantly felt my face turn red. “Nice seeing you again.”

Turning my body towards Hanji, I hide my face in their shirt, “You can sit there if you want to. And I’ve heard you two met.”

“Yeah, we have English together.” He explains taking a seat across from us. “My name’s Levi.”

“Hanji Zoe, our mom’s work together and since they do we should be friends.”

I shove my elbow into her ribs while whispering to her how they can’t be that blunt, “Don’t worry, Eren, I like people who don’t beat around the bush.”

Why did he have to be so smooth? “And I’d happily be you guys friends, as long as you’re cool with it?”

“We couldn’t be happier. So just to be clear, my pronouns are they their them. Nothing gender based.”

“Understood.” He replied nodding. Looking in my direction he ask, “So what are your pronouns? Since we’re sharing.”

Clearing my throat, I answer, “He him his.”

“He’s also gay.” Hanji added causing my ear to turn pink.

“Interesting. Well, mine are just like Eren’s.”

Our conversation was cut to an end as the bell rung signaling to get to class. Sighing I stand to throw away my trash. As I dump it I hear Hanji asking if Levi would like to come over after school. Halting my movements, I stare back at them with a look questioning their motives. They returned on right back. I groaned slightly before walking out the cafeteria with them on my trail. While walking to class, I could hear some of their conversation.

“So, meet anyone you like?”

“No, I want to do something exciting but my mom’s too protective.”

“Ugh, same. She acts like I don’t know right from wrong.”

“That’s because you don’t, Hanji.” I say butting in.

“Hey, for your information I’m a good example when I want to be.”

“Heh, alrighty whatever you say.”

*

“I’m just glad we have some classes together. Thought this year they were going to fuck up and not put us together.”

School had just let out and Hanji and I were walking to their car. Levi brought his own car so he’s following us to their house.

“Welp, we both know if they hadn’t we’d brought them hell like the last two years.” Hanji says nudging me.

As long as I could remember, me and Hanji had always been in at least one class together since first grade. “Yeah, that was kind of fun wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, and hey we got a new friend to this duo.”

“Yeah.” I mumble smiling a bit. “He is pretty nice I guess, but we both know he’s not gay. And why’d you tell him that anyways? It’s not like he was gonna instantly fall in love with me.”

“But sweetie pie, if you want a future you have to at least let him know so it’s not constant sexual tension around me.”

Shaking my head I get into the passenger side of their car, “Well now he’s probably gonna hate me. ‘Oh look he’s gay and wants my dick’. Ugh I wish you didn’t tell him.” I reply imitating Levi.

“Eren, we both remember what happens when you don’t be yourself.”

“Yeah I do,” i start remembering everything that happened before I was officially out, “let’s not get into that. What are we going to do today other than the usual?”

“Well,” They start as they drive to where Levi said to met him, “Since we an extra person this time around, I was thinking that we get double the snacks and talk about random shit.”

As they stop at the spot, I shrug as my answer, “I mean that just means I’ll have to work a full 40 next week but its fine. It is your day to pick.”

Levi suddenly knocked on my window scaring me. I rolled the window down so he was able to talk to Hanji clearly, “I’m just following you right?”

“Yeah, but we have to go to the store first. I need to buy more snacks.”

“Cool. Alright I’ll honk when I’m ready.”

As he walked away I looked back at Hanji in question, “Why didn’t he just go to your side?” 

“Because I think he likes you.” They say wiggling their eyebrows.

As if he’d ever like someone like—I flinch at the sound of his honk as it interrupts my thoughts. On the drive to the corner store we always went to, I let my thoughts go darker things. Sooner than later we arrive. Getting out I stretch my arms out while walking to the door, “Hurry up I don’t want to be here all day.”

“Oh hush up, Eren! You know you’re going to buy the whole store.” Hanji says wrapping around me.

“Don’t tempe me now.” I warn them.

Going inside we’re greeted by the manager, Jean. He always lets us get stuff without the tax. “How’s my favorite customers? And I see we have someone new?”

While Hanji answered his questions, me and Levi gather the different snacks. “So what goes on inside that head of yours?” 

“That’s one of the rules we have. We don’t talk about anything like that until we sit down with the snacks.”

“Fair enough, so what do they want?” He questions pointing at the counter.

“They usually just get like ten things. I sadly know everything they want, hence the basket.”

As we pick the different snacks, we make light conversation about his first day of school. Soon enough we had everything we wanted for today. Placing the basket on the counter between Jean and Hanji, he sighs before starting to calculate the total. “Why do you guys have to get so much every time you guys come here?”

“We’re fat people, Jean. We need to eat.” They answer holding their belly. “So what’s the total for today?”

“You’re shit always the damn same. Straight 10$, everything else is gonna 25$.”

Dammit. Handing him my card I’m stopped by Levi. Giving him a questioning look he explains that he wants to pay for everything since we befriended him. “Don’t worry about it! It’s fine really!”

“Too late.” He had handed Jean enough cash for the bill. With a smirk he told me I could pay next time. Fuming towards the car Hanji makes fun of me.

At the house their mother had always welcomed me with open arms, with her own child being non binary she was more than happy to have me. Especially when my parents had disowned me for sometime, I became a son to her and a brother to Hanji. I even have my own key.

Walking in I shout to let her know that we’ll be in the basement. Going down the stairs I turn on the lights. The same as usual, a big enough couch for six people, a love couch, and a pool table. I sit down on the six person couch laying out. I dump my snacks next to me as Hanji and Levi come down.

“Dammit, Eren! I wanted to sit there. The corner seat is the best!”

“Too fucking bad!” I shout out stuffing an Oreo in my mouth. “Just sit over there.” I say pointing at the other end.

“Nah, Levi can have that seat, I’ll sit on the loveseat.” They say winking.

Rolling my eyes, I continue eating. As Levi sits down, he asks his question from earlier again causing me and Hanji to freeze. I stare at them and they just shrugs, “It’s your decision, it’s not my story tell.”

Turning back to Levi I think what I’m going to tell him, “Well... some fucked up shit.” 

Glancing between me and Hanji he has a questioning look, “Is there something I’m missing.”

“Nope, but what cuties did you see at the school? Because all I ever see are ones while I’m a 10.”

“They all aren’t bad, just a few 10.” He says looking at me.

“Welp hope you have more luck than us.” Hanji says plopping down on their food. “Hey, Eren are you sleeping over tonight or no?”

“No, not tonight, me and my parents are going to a restaurant tonight.”

“I wanna come!” They say before drinking some juice, “Levi,why are you so quiet? Ask any random question?”

“Nah I just want to see what I’m getting myself into.” He says chuckling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So shocker right??? I haven’t updated in almost a year and that’s probably the longest it’d ever take. Luckily I just bought an iPad with a key board and I had no idea what to do with it. I also went back to the shittyer times of my writing and saw comments that made me realize i brought joy to people even if I think it’s a shit show. Anyways let’s get the show back on the road !!!!!!


	2. A Night Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not mean for it to almost take a month to update this like face palm. But thank you for being patient and enjoy!

“Hey Carla! Hey Grisha!” I announce sitting down at the four person table they chose. “Have you guys already ordered?”

“Yeah, I’ll get the waiter.” As she tried to call someone over, I looked over the menu.

“So, Eren, what have you been up to other than school?”

Placing the menu down, I think over the question, “Well since we live so close to the city, I wanted to check out the different shops out there that offer the same type of career choice I want to pursue.”

This was a question I always steered clear of because Grisha was head strong about me being a doctor of some sort, with being the town doctor. 

“Well that sounds fun.” Carla added to Grisha’s shrug, “When do you plan on going, and with who? That Hanji friend of yours?”

“Yeah if they agreed to go.”

“I don’t see why you say they whenever talking about her. She was born a woman and needs to be talked as one.” Grisha comments in calm voice.

Carla stared at the both of us with a strange look on her face as if we would suddenly start yelling at each other. As collected as I could sound, I reply with, “Because **Grisha** _they_ are a non binary person who deserves respect like the rest of us.”

Silence remain over us for quite a while before the waiter came over, “I can take your order, sir.”

After a few more seconds of intensely staring at him, I smile and order my food and drink. Thanking the waiter I ask Carla, “So what did you guys do this morning?’ 

“Oh sweetie, while you were at school and your fa-Grisha was at work, I tried this on hack where you heat up I think 2 drops of vanilla extract in the oven and now the whole house smells like cookies!” 

“That’s great, you do like to bake.”

“The funny thing was when Grisha got home. His face told it all.” She says giggling.

“I wasn’t use to it being that strong.” He defends crossing his arms.

That’s how this family worked. One moment the tension is thick enough to cut and the next we’re joking around, but sometimes the times apart would be lengthy. “Eren, darling, any new friends?”

“Actually, I friends with the new family’s kid.” Both their expressions were the same, shock. “Don’t be too shocked.”

“Well, it’s just, whenever I do ask you never actually have a new friend.” She explains.

“Since you have no hope in me I’ll just unfriend him.” I exaggerate slumping down in the chair.

“No no, sweetie, we- I didn’t mean it like that. I’m happy you have a new friend. Bring him or her over sometime.”

Nodding I stare as the waiter comes over with our food. Thanking them, I begin to inspect my food for the perfect bite. The meal had nothing promising or special to it, so I eat it as it is. We continue to make small talk while eating the food. Shortly after the bill was paid and we arrived home, I noticed I had a few messages from a phone number not saved in my phone. Opening them, I read that the owner of said number was Levi explaining how Hange had given I’m my phone number since I left early. Not feeling too guilty about it, I send him an apology anyways before saving his number. Before I could put the phone down, he replies back.

 **Levi**  
Don’t worry but it’d be nice to have a coffee with you sometime since you bailed on us early

Confused at his advance, I text him why do that when tomorrow we were going to do the same thing. Placing my phone on my pillow I lay down thinking over the fact I was actually friends with the new hot boy in town. What if he was straight and only became my friend out of pity. I’m sure he only did because of Hanji. The sound of a new message pulls from my thought. Checking to see if it’s Levi, turned out to be Hanji Telling me to play nice with Levi as if they knew I was texting him this very moment, and that’s what they got as a reply.

 **Levi**  
Too bad i didn’t know that  
Coffee with you still sounds like a good idea maybe we could go sometime

 **Me**  
Sure let me tell Hanji

Before I could send it he sent another message tell me it would just be the two of us. What in the ever living world was he planning? He probably wanted to embarrass me or something. Agreeing anyways I put my phone on the charger before going to sleep.

_______________

“It’s only the second day and I want to kill myself.” I complain as Hanji drives to their parking spot.

“We both know if you tried that I’d stop you.”

Mumbling under my breath how they were right, I opted to look out the window watching other students pass by. Sighing heavily, I grab my bag and open the car door. Glancing around I notice that Levi’s car is parked closer than last time. Not questioning it, I close the door and wait for Hanji. Without warning, my eye sight was blocked. Panicking I let out a squeak trying to remove the hands. After successfully moving them I turn around to see Levi with a sheepish grin, “Guess who?”

“Don’t do that!” I exclaim holding my chest, “I thought you were someone else.” 

“Like who? Last I checked Hanji told me you’re only friends with me and them.”

Realizing what I was implying, I steer the conversation to something else, “Hanji, hurry your ass up or we’re gonna be late.”

Walking towards the school, I keep my eye out for Reiner. He never came up to me when I was with anyone else, but I was always on edge. Saying bye to Hanji, Levi and I leave to our first class. I stop at the bathroom telling Levi to continue without me before going inside. After doing my business, I wash my hands while the door opens. Air drying my hands I turn around and see Reiner. Paling I try to run past, but one of his goons push me back into the sink.

“Trying to run out I see. I thought we were friends?” Reiner asks with a concerned look which quickly faded to a devilish smirk. 

“Why would I ever be friends with someone like you?” I spit at him resulting in a punch in the gut.

Coughing my hair is pulled and I’m face to face with him, “That’s no way to talk to a friend. Guess it’s time for a punishment.”

Trying to get away was no use as I’m guided to a bathroom stall. Kicking my holder in the sin, he doesn’t buckle like I expected. Before I knew it, my head was plunged into the toilet water. Unable to hold my breath, I started choking. Eventually my head was brought back up. Taking the opportunity, I sucked in the necessary air before I was engulfed in water. This continued until the late bell rang through the speakers. Dropping me on the floor they leave while throwing insults at me. After the last one left, I felt tears run down my already wet face.

The swirly treatment usually happened on Friday’s last year, but I had forgotten that during the break. Bring my knees close to my chest I spent the next few minutes crying, and that’s how Levi found me. Hearing his voice before me startled me and I quickly hid my face in between my knees not wanting to be anymore embarrassed than I was.

“What happened? Your hair is soaking wet.” Levi questions as he crouches in front of me. Trying to pick my head up, I strain my neck. “Come on, Eren. I want to help.”

Slowly I pick my head up letting him see my puffy face. Closing my eyes I begin to sob, “Who did this to you?”

“I don’t want to say, he’d beat me up even more.” I confess shaking my head back in forth letting my anxiety take over, “He’s done it for years and I haven’t even told Hanji, my best friend.”

Wiping my face I tell hm how I shouldn’t even be telling him this much, “I understand, but it’s better to tell someone than hold it in.”

Snifffing, I nod while picking myself up. He had a point, it wouldn’t do me any good. Slapping my cheeks a couple of time, I look at him with a fake smile. I walk past him to get to class not wanting to be any more late than I already was.

________________________

“Eren, why won’t you tell me what happened?” Hanji exclaimed. It was the end of the day and Hanji still wouldn’t let up on the subject of my damp clothes.

“Because there’s a time and place for that. Oh look, we’re here.” They pulled into a parking space. Quickly getting out I go inside and silently pick my favorites out.

While picking between Gushers and Air Heads, I could hear Levi and Hanji decussing something in private. Unbothered by it, I decide to get both before moving on to the next aisle. Picking a few more things I go to the counter and pay for everything and leave the others in the store. I chose to ride with Levi on the way to my house. The only words said were directions to go left or right. Arriving, I get out to open the door leaving them two one again. Not bothering to greet or acknowledge my parents, I run up to my room and lay down on my bed.

_**Levi** _

I watch as Eren basically runs into his house. Sighing I take what Hanji told me, _”Today might not be all sunshine and rainbows like yesterday. It might be the second day, but he’s always like this when it’s his turn to bring me- us over.”_

Getting out I follow Hanji into the house and catch a glance of a man sitting on the couch. Being polite, I try to greet mysel ,but Hanji stops me and leads me towards the stairs. My face must have given away my question because they tell me they never greet his parents per Eren’s request. Confusion swirls around with my many thoughts. Walking into a room, I see Eren laying face first on a bed. I stand awkwardly in the door frame as Hanji lays down next to him. I place my bags down and sit next to them quietly. Sniffles begin to fill the room before sobs found their way.

“Eren, baby, everything’s going to be okay. Tell JiJi what happened?” Hanji comforts rubbing their hands up on his back.

“It’s just,” He starts while sitting up letting us see his puffy face, “I know I never tell you who does this to me and it’s so unfair to you and Levi today told me to tell someone and it had me thinking. MAybe if I did tell, maybe if I did tell someone this would all go away just like I told you I was depressed. And and, and how I was so close to-“

“I get it, baby girl, but you don’t have to tell Levi just yet.” Hanji shushes signaling for me to come help comfort him. “All you have to do is tell me and you know I won’t get mad at you.”

Leaning towards them, I lay my head in his lap and place his hands on my hair. This usually calms my mother so I figured it’d work for him, and thankfully I was right. “Are you sure because because it’s been forever and-“

“It’s fine. Who has been hurting my baby?”

Silence engulfs the room longer than I would like before Eren whispers out the answer, “Reiner... and Bertolt... and Jean and anyone else he hangs out with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are deeply appreciated


End file.
